Confessions of a Bible Virgin: Gratitude

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Gratitude

Confession #42: I am thankful for the freedom to read, to think, to pray, to not pray, to question, to worship, to not worship, to write, to speak, to believe.

Happy Thanksgiving y’all.

Coming up: blessings and curses from Deuteronomy

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It all started with a question: Who wrote the Old Testament?

I am not sure why it took me 56 years to ask that question, but now here I was acknowledging a glaring hole in my religious training.

Confession #1: I have never read the Bible. Yep – despite my “good Irish Catholic girl” persona, and years of formal religious education, I’ve never actually read the thing!

Confession #2: I truly had no answer to my question on who authored the Old Testament, and, indeed, had never pondered it before!

I began asking friends. “Hmm, well, I don’t actually know.” “Hmmm, uh, Jesus?” “Hmm, not sure why it matters…” Why it matters? Because modern civilization has been built upon its very words! Can’t someone tell me exactly where it came from? Shouldn’t we have an answer BEFORE we establish our belief system on it?

I realized it was time I resolved this for myself.

A brief fill-in here on my own religiosity…

I was raised Catholic. Mom was dutiful in rearing my sister and me through Baptism, Confession, Communion, and Confirmation. But she didn’t discuss religion; just seemed like part of her parental responsibility. Dad went along but didn’t usually attend Mass, and proudly asserted his position in the family as our “doubting Thomas.” He loved to pontificate on his innermost intellectual struggles with the Bible and Catholic teaching.

As an adult, I streamed from not attending Mass to morphing into that good Catholic mom myself, returning to weekly attendance, putting my 3 children through Baptism, Confession, Communion. Even served as a Eucharistic minister for a time. Then, my appearance at Mass dropped off as kids grew up, I remarried, and Sunday mornings took on their own form of devotion, in the form of Meet the Press and cooking breakfast with my beloved.

My spirituality is a different story from my religiosity. I have always had a close relationship with my God. Religion has come and gone with me, and today I am not religious at all; in fact, I have developed a severe cynicism toward all organized religions, even as I marvel at the underlying commonalities between them wherein human truth seems to lie. But my spiritual marriage with my creator is alive and well.

And so, as a “raised Catholic” and literature scholar, I determined that before I die, I must meet this document, with no fear or expectations. I’ll use my God-given logic to sort ideas, ask questions, and above all, think for myself. After all, I always told my students that the questions are more important than the answers. Forgive what I anticipate to be a randomness in my reactions to my reading. Above all, I am doing this for my own edification and beg the indulgence and patience of anyone reading this blog for its casual nature in sharing.

Join me in my journey and add to the conversation. I hope this to be an atmosphere of curiosity, open-mindedness, and respect. Debate is healthy; diatribe is not.

Peace to all who enter here.

Confessions of a Bible Virgin

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Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Gratitude

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